I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
