Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
