i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is it penis luge time yet?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize