Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
