oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
