Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
