So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
