Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
