You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
