i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
