I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
