he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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