When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
