but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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