Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
