Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
