Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
