I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
