And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You are a genius and a whore.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
