best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
