I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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