Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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