is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
