true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
