i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I did not marry a roomba.
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