So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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