yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I party with great urgency now.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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