In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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