I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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