I'm going to jail i love you
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
