I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My ass is underappreciated
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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