If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
