I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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