she was so not down for the gang bang
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize