The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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