We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
