giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
