Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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