Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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