Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
When are your genitals available?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
