Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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