I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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