He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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