We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
