New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
