we're chasing vodka with high fives
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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