Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
