She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
