gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
