yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
