i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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