Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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