this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize