dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
