She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
