well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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