So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
