I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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